The Resurrection

Before
This story began more than four decades ago.  My earliest memory goes back to my days in the crib where I envisioned a hard faced man standing over me whilst holding an ancient jagged knife.  I was born an empath with the ability to both see and feel energies. Unaware of my abilities, my family were not in a position to guide nor offer me any form of guidance or protection.  Over the years to come, I was to confront both good and bad energies. Whilst some energies offered protection and guidance, a significant number of other energies became needy and intimidating.

The experiences continued throughout much of my childhood until some time during my teen years where by chance, a family friend found out about the visions which often disturbed my sleep. This friend explained that the simple cross could be of some use to me as it was introduced by the ancient civilisations thousands of years ago as a powerful symbol of protection.  I was encouraged to enact the cross on my pillow each night to help contain the nightmares and energies. Amazingly, both the nightmares and visions seized almost immediately upon introducing this practise. It wasn’t until some years later, when with some help and guidance, I discovered my spirituality and with this returned the visions and feelings I experienced as a child.  

Not so long ago, I began a major journey of self discovery.  Curiously, before this time, the entire concept of possessing an inner self was completely foreign to me. This inner quest began after someone implied that I was living my entire life externally. Initially taken aback and somewhat confused by these words, I soon became obsessed with them.  When the search first began, the image of my inner self appeared quite baron. In fact, when I first started to look within myself, all I could perceive was a desert. With time and work, a water well revealed itself within this desert.  Later, some ruins. Then followed some walls, buildings, and so on. I began referring to this place as ‘my kingdom’ and even today, my kingdom continues to develop within me. Eventually, I stumbled across a course at a local school of philosophy titled, ‘Understanding your Inner Self’ in which I immediately enrolled. This course lead me on to other relevant courses within the same school and eventually taught me the skills required for meditation. This was a major turning point in my life.

Now
Most recently, I discovered a foreign and disturbing energy residing within me. When questioned, this energy suggested that it had in fact already been present within me for many years.  It is assumed to be since childhood and potentially linked to the estranged man with the knife previously seen as a baby.  I have no evidence to support who or what this energy may be and to date, science has no way of proving anything. However, within myself, I conclude this energy to exist and believe it to have been influencing my thoughts and behaviours for much of my life.  The feelings I held were enough to initiate learning and developing techniques for cleansing and building strength. I have also been learning new strategies enabling me to protect myself from any unwanted spirits and energies. This in turn helps me manage some of the more negative energies in my life.  After a considerable amount of work and support, I have been able to let go of this one particular harmful and unwanted spirit. For what feels like the first time in my life, I feel an innate sense of freedom, confidence and strength. Now and forever more conscious of the idea that my body belongs only to me, and each step I take is my own.  

I consider myself a spiritual being but not a religious one.  Someone who finds honour and truth in many faiths but is unable to subscribe to any specifically.  Over Easter, I decided to take my family on a short break not far from the town we live. This was a beautiful location visited for single day trips numerous times before but never for this extent of time. I was surrounded by an abundance of beautiful mountains and wildlife.  Over the course of a few days, my family and I were presented with and array of beauty including some of the largest and most beautiful trees, majestic mountains, magnificent birds both on the water and in the skies, curious echidnas, and even what seemed to be a friendly snake.  It was a time of great wonder and surprise. As an avid camper and outdoors man, I have experienced many trips in and around mountains but this was the first time I would see mountains seemingly light up in front of me the way these ones did. The mountains appeared to have a bright, magical, hazy, white glow about them.  Each tree and animal seemed to stand out individually whilst at the same time everything also seemed to blend as one. A highlight was when I was surprised by a magnificent lyrebird scattering across my path waving his long, beautiful tail. Lyrebirds are generally an elusive creature blending in to their environment but it seemed this one wanted to be noticed.  The entire experience was like something out of a dream.

I became quite relaxed in this environment and spent an important amount of time living in the moment and immersed in the beautiful energy my surroundings had to offer.  I felt a true connection to the beauty that surrounded me and could literally feel myself developing a greater appreciation for everything. I knew at this moment I was right where I needed to be.

After
It was Easter Sunday morning.  Whilst I was meditating by the lake, I received a surprising glance into my future.  The moment was short but long enough to see that ahead of me lay a path of freedom, happiness and financial comfort.  Most importantly, this path seemed to portray a life with soul and purpose. There was no specific message but I simply understood that for this moment, I was to accept who and where I was.  There were no clear plans laid out for me either but I somehow knew that by holding faith, all the things I would need in the future would somehow fall into place for me.

I began to envision a clear connection between the three major energy points within my body.  That is, a connection running between my three Dantiens. In this moment, I envisioned myself as a tree embraced in an energy field shaped like an egg.  Possessing a trunk that was almost straight and solid, my roots were planted deep in the ground and my branches were reaching high in the sky. Standing beside this tree on one side was a lion which I have always perceived as strength, and on the other side was an image of the Egyption God Thoth.  Later to be identified as arbitrator of Godly disputes, heavily associated with the arts of magic and the judgement of the dead. In this moment, I felt an enormous wealth of inner strength and power.

Following this experience, I have been able to recognise within me an energy that is pure, perfect and complete.  An energy which is extremely loving, compassionate, strong and powerful. Upon leaving the mountains, I had to stop the car for a moment.  In this moment, I literally held an image of the true version of myself exploding through the external shell in which I was residing. I know refer to this moment as ‘my resurrection’. 

#MeTime #NowMeTime #BuildingTheInnerSelf #SelfDiscovery #FindingMyself